I think there's a reason not many men are into seduction "gaming". Seduction, almost by definition, means sexual (and emotional) manipulation. A man has to be limited in his capacity for empathy if he can regard seduction and the resulting sex as a legitimate and ethical end in itself. I would even say men who can do that with a clear co…
I think there's a reason not many men are into seduction "gaming". Seduction, almost by definition, means sexual (and emotional) manipulation. A man has to be limited in his capacity for empathy if he can regard seduction and the resulting sex as a legitimate and ethical end in itself. I would even say men who can do that with a clear conscience are on the sociopathic spectrum. Even if the number of male sociopaths is as low as 2%, and I've seen higher numbers, they would be hugely over-represented among men aggressively manipulating women. Add another--what?--5% or 10% or even 25% who have weak empathy, and you get plenty of men who are perfectly happy with a love 'em and leave 'em strategy. A man (or woman) who has any moral sense would not consider manipulation of any other human being for purely selfish ends as an acceptable way to interact with others. That's no less true for sex than any other human interaction. BTW, I gave my daughter Neil Strauss's book "The Game" when she was a teenager precisely because I wanted her to know there were men out there willing to use aggressive manipulation to get girls into bed.
So I would add, as an answer to Tove's question about how disillusioned you should be, that aggressive manipulators, which I would consider a form of sociopathy, have always been among us. Thankfully they do not represent all humans, or all males.
>>BTW, I gave my daughter Neil Strauss's book "The Game" when she was a teenager precisely because I wanted her to know there were men out there willing to use aggressive manipulation to get girls into bed.
Great idea. It's too typical that girls need to learn that thing on their own.
There was also a TV series based on the book, which she and her younger brother (also a teenager by then) would watch and laugh over. They thought it was funnier than I did. Maybe it's just that Dads worry about their daughters and the risks they face more than the daughters do, given their inexperience and naivete... Still, notwithstanding the propaganda about "rape culture" at colleges--which is I think a mischaracterization--the other perspective rampant in the culture is that girls should be exactly like the boys. That's the perspective I hoped the book would show her was wrong. (That view on this issue a topic you cover so well, among other things.) It leads to problems which, perversely, end up inflaming the resentments and "rape" allegations on campus that we hear about. So we end up with a schizoid culture on relations between the sexes, and endless confusion.
I think there's a reason not many men are into seduction "gaming". Seduction, almost by definition, means sexual (and emotional) manipulation. A man has to be limited in his capacity for empathy if he can regard seduction and the resulting sex as a legitimate and ethical end in itself. I would even say men who can do that with a clear conscience are on the sociopathic spectrum. Even if the number of male sociopaths is as low as 2%, and I've seen higher numbers, they would be hugely over-represented among men aggressively manipulating women. Add another--what?--5% or 10% or even 25% who have weak empathy, and you get plenty of men who are perfectly happy with a love 'em and leave 'em strategy. A man (or woman) who has any moral sense would not consider manipulation of any other human being for purely selfish ends as an acceptable way to interact with others. That's no less true for sex than any other human interaction. BTW, I gave my daughter Neil Strauss's book "The Game" when she was a teenager precisely because I wanted her to know there were men out there willing to use aggressive manipulation to get girls into bed.
So I would add, as an answer to Tove's question about how disillusioned you should be, that aggressive manipulators, which I would consider a form of sociopathy, have always been among us. Thankfully they do not represent all humans, or all males.
>>BTW, I gave my daughter Neil Strauss's book "The Game" when she was a teenager precisely because I wanted her to know there were men out there willing to use aggressive manipulation to get girls into bed.
Great idea. It's too typical that girls need to learn that thing on their own.
There was also a TV series based on the book, which she and her younger brother (also a teenager by then) would watch and laugh over. They thought it was funnier than I did. Maybe it's just that Dads worry about their daughters and the risks they face more than the daughters do, given their inexperience and naivete... Still, notwithstanding the propaganda about "rape culture" at colleges--which is I think a mischaracterization--the other perspective rampant in the culture is that girls should be exactly like the boys. That's the perspective I hoped the book would show her was wrong. (That view on this issue a topic you cover so well, among other things.) It leads to problems which, perversely, end up inflaming the resentments and "rape" allegations on campus that we hear about. So we end up with a schizoid culture on relations between the sexes, and endless confusion.