Yes. But there is more than one way of being a high-value woman. Being sexier than the others is one way, and being special in some other, less visible sense is another. Men who choose super-sexy women as wives do not only show they are high status. They also show they are playing in a league were sexiness is highly valued.
Yes. But there is more than one way of being a high-value woman. Being sexier than the others is one way, and being special in some other, less visible sense is another. Men who choose super-sexy women as wives do not only show they are high status. They also show they are playing in a league were sexiness is highly valued.
I think "less visible" is the key word here. Mate-value is also (primarily?) a social construct. We all use it to judge if people fit together, and to work for that it has to be visible in some sense.
When a high status man enters the room, there is a lot of subtle signals that we all pick up on, everything from how they dress, act and how others act towards them. We are rarely in doubt who is high status. I think most people can look at a group of people and roughly order them by status, especially if they have a bit of time to observe them.
The problem is how women can communicate status in a visible form. Youth and beauty are the classics, but you also see it communicated with things like $20,000 hand bags. The problem with those things (apart from the ridiculousness of attributing so much value to veblen goods) is that they only really work for status between women. It usually goes totally over the head of men, or if they do notice, it actually reduces their view of the woman.
So the question is, how do you as a women visibly show that your mate-value match that of your man (assuming your man is high-status)?
>>So the question is, how do you as a women visibly show that your mate-value match that of your man (assuming your man is high-status)?
I think the answer is: You don't. On the mating market, a high-status man is higher status than any woman. Women who marry high-status men face a choice:
1. Be sure enough he values your companionship that he will resist all polygynous temptations laid before him
2. Accept a precarious position
3. Look desperate in your attempts to match his visible status.
For the above reason, I have always suspected that high-status men aren't that attractive after all.
Well, I said I was going to write a post celebrating beta males as the pillars of civilization. Maybe I could write something about their excellent qualities as life partners too.
Yes. But there is more than one way of being a high-value woman. Being sexier than the others is one way, and being special in some other, less visible sense is another. Men who choose super-sexy women as wives do not only show they are high status. They also show they are playing in a league were sexiness is highly valued.
I think "less visible" is the key word here. Mate-value is also (primarily?) a social construct. We all use it to judge if people fit together, and to work for that it has to be visible in some sense.
When a high status man enters the room, there is a lot of subtle signals that we all pick up on, everything from how they dress, act and how others act towards them. We are rarely in doubt who is high status. I think most people can look at a group of people and roughly order them by status, especially if they have a bit of time to observe them.
The problem is how women can communicate status in a visible form. Youth and beauty are the classics, but you also see it communicated with things like $20,000 hand bags. The problem with those things (apart from the ridiculousness of attributing so much value to veblen goods) is that they only really work for status between women. It usually goes totally over the head of men, or if they do notice, it actually reduces their view of the woman.
So the question is, how do you as a women visibly show that your mate-value match that of your man (assuming your man is high-status)?
>>So the question is, how do you as a women visibly show that your mate-value match that of your man (assuming your man is high-status)?
I think the answer is: You don't. On the mating market, a high-status man is higher status than any woman. Women who marry high-status men face a choice:
1. Be sure enough he values your companionship that he will resist all polygynous temptations laid before him
2. Accept a precarious position
3. Look desperate in your attempts to match his visible status.
For the above reason, I have always suspected that high-status men aren't that attractive after all.
That seems like a controversial topic worth exploring in depth. Maybe worth its own blogpost?
Well, I said I was going to write a post celebrating beta males as the pillars of civilization. Maybe I could write something about their excellent qualities as life partners too.