I think children are a competition, the problem is that the competition about quality, quantity. Having two or more successful children does not provide any more status than having one. Also, having more children is not seen as increasing the chances of either of them becoming successful - it looks like a suboptimal strategy, as opposed …
I think children are a competition, the problem is that the competition about quality, quantity. Having two or more successful children does not provide any more status than having one. Also, having more children is not seen as increasing the chances of either of them becoming successful - it looks like a suboptimal strategy, as opposed to committing all resources and effort into the success of the only child.
Managing resource and commitment allocation with multiple children is hard and based from what I hear from people, parents typically do less than perfect in that area, leading to varied degrees of childhood trauma. This also leads people to think that having just one child is an obvious way to avoid it.
Generally we should be careful with framing children as competition/status game for parents. We all know the trope of the toxic parent pushing the child to achieve early success in sports/music/art/science etc. I don't think that it's that common in real life, but encouraging it should be avoided anyway.
Also, it's not good for adults either. My father has a habit of bragging about his children's 'successes' on social media and in real life. For some time he has been pushing me to buy an expensive car I don't need so he can brag about it. I really hate it.
>>We all know the trope of the toxic parent pushing the child to achieve early success in sports/music/art/science etc.
The Amish have a solution to that. They forbid both bragging and competition. Hiding away one's children would be inhumane, however, so they can never ask each other to hide children for the sake of humility. Also, since they discourage contraception, they can credible claim that it is not a competition, just God's will. If I believed in intelligent design, I would say the design of that system is very successful.
>>My father has a habit of bragging about his children's 'successes' on social media and in real life. For some time he has been pushing me to buy an expensive car I don't need so he can brag about it. I really hate it.
I really shouldn't laugh at that because it seems serious. But I can't help it. It IS comical. At least for us who are not personally involved.
I think children are a competition, the problem is that the competition about quality, quantity. Having two or more successful children does not provide any more status than having one. Also, having more children is not seen as increasing the chances of either of them becoming successful - it looks like a suboptimal strategy, as opposed to committing all resources and effort into the success of the only child.
Managing resource and commitment allocation with multiple children is hard and based from what I hear from people, parents typically do less than perfect in that area, leading to varied degrees of childhood trauma. This also leads people to think that having just one child is an obvious way to avoid it.
Generally we should be careful with framing children as competition/status game for parents. We all know the trope of the toxic parent pushing the child to achieve early success in sports/music/art/science etc. I don't think that it's that common in real life, but encouraging it should be avoided anyway.
Also, it's not good for adults either. My father has a habit of bragging about his children's 'successes' on social media and in real life. For some time he has been pushing me to buy an expensive car I don't need so he can brag about it. I really hate it.
>>We all know the trope of the toxic parent pushing the child to achieve early success in sports/music/art/science etc.
The Amish have a solution to that. They forbid both bragging and competition. Hiding away one's children would be inhumane, however, so they can never ask each other to hide children for the sake of humility. Also, since they discourage contraception, they can credible claim that it is not a competition, just God's will. If I believed in intelligent design, I would say the design of that system is very successful.
>>My father has a habit of bragging about his children's 'successes' on social media and in real life. For some time he has been pushing me to buy an expensive car I don't need so he can brag about it. I really hate it.
I really shouldn't laugh at that because it seems serious. But I can't help it. It IS comical. At least for us who are not personally involved.